#8 OTHER ISSUES WHICH IMPACT THE MODERN MARRIAGE:

(I)   Learning to adjust to the changing needs of our partner can be a significant issue:

       A.  When a child is born, there is a major shift in the family need profile.  This is a major area requiring adjustment.

      B.  When your partner has a long term illness or growing health problems.  This is a major area of concern as we age.

     C.  Major career changes typically require some major life changes as well.

(II)  Issues related to divorce and blended families creates huge issues which require life adjustments.

       A.  Having to deal with the children of your new spouse can be problematic and requires some adjustments.

      B.  Most divorces and re-marriages also bring new financial problems.

      C.  Adjusting to the new partner can be as troublesome in second marriages as with first marriages.

(III) Addiction issues require serious adjustment.  When alcohol, drug, gambling, or other addiction problems exist, a new set of problems enters the marriage.  These require a new set of responses and skills.

(IV)  The long term impact of chidren on the marriage and family relationship is significant; Millinnials have created additional issues:

      A. Issues of differences in discipline and the differences between parental child raising styles can create severe problems.  Generally, men tend to be more strict, women more permissive in discipline.  In fact both are needed, but harmony is necessary.  If a child does not learn some degree of discipline by the age of 9, this area of life will probably be an issue for the remainder of their life.  When children are not "trained to obey" basic rules, they will be destined to personal failure or will become overly manulapitive or deceitful.

     B. The normal sequence of development is that parents raise a child then when they reach adulthood, somewhere between 18 and 22, they are released from  direct parental guidance.  The years between the birth and 19 to 22 are the years of training.  If a child has not been trained to become self supportive, they will not be able to take care of themselves once they are adults.  Far too many children have not been trained to do so and therefore create continued divisision within the marriage.   Some surveys state that as many as 55% of millinnials were not trained to be self supportive which adds an additional burden to the existing family.

   C.  Marital disunity, divorce, adult emotional needs, or laziness in training a child are often the culprits to the problem of guiding a child into becoming a mature person.  Nearly 30% of children under 35 years of age are still unable to care for themselves outside their parents home.  When this is the case, children tend to be emotionally weak, lack a clear direction,  suffer from many mental or emotional issues, and  redily find reasons to justify their failures.

  D.  If a child is allowed to be deceitful, dishonest, manulapitive, or is allowed to justify their own actions by blaming others  by the age of 9 (and can get away with doing so), this will most likely become a lifelong trait.   Learning to take  personal responsibility  is a major factor in personal growth.  Learning to "justify" personal actions rather than accept responsibility limits a persons ability to mature.  Far too often these traits are a reflection of parental problems.

Nearly all problems stem from a few basic areas in life:

1.  use of time

2.  our commitments

3.  money and it's uses

4.  relationships

5.  our ability or willingness to understand things

From these most of our problems stem!